Kickin' It

I’ve posted on bucket lists at Out of the Ordinary this morning.

My friend has a bucket list. She hasn’t told me anything about it except that it doesn’t include sky diving because it’s too risky.

Cancer patients, she said, are encouraged to make bucket lists as part of their therapy. A bucket list can give someone something to live for — a few dreams to keep them going through treatments that can seem worse than dying. And I’d say that, therapy or not, most people with potentially terminal illnesses think about the things they want to do before they die.

Read the whole piece, if you dare.

Status Report: May

Sitting…outside on the front stoop.

Eating…apple slices.

Watching…my granddaughter play. She’s pushing a bubbleless bubble mower around the front yard, singing, “Go this way! Walkie oh walkie…”

Also watching…the world go by.

Feeling…thankful for spring. I know some of you aren’t quite there yet (so sorry, Minnesotans), but we are, and I’m enjoying this blessing from God. I’m also thankful for my big front yard and the bush across the street, both good for exploring.

Happy…to be at the end (I hope) of the two illnesses that hit my family members, including me, over the last few week. Youngest son was the last one to get sick and he’s back to work today (finally!). I’m not sure how we managed to pick up two viruses causing in-bed sickness in one month, but we did. Easter weekend my oldest granddaughter came down with a case of pneumonia but thanks to a dose of antibiotics, she’s all better now. 

Leaving…for a minute to unstick a 2-year-old’s bubble mower.

Noting…that I saw the first crocuses of the year while walking the dog this afternoon.

Remembering…30 years ago today, when my youngest daughter was born. She was born with a full head of 4 or 5 inch long dark brown hair that stuck straight up on top.

Thirty years ago tonight it was was -25  and there was a bit of a blizzard. No crocuses out in 1984.

Hoping…you are enjoying spring. And if you don’t have it yet, here’s hoping you have it soon. 

Saying…goodbye.

Going…inside to start supper. 

Quick and Painless Potty Training in Ten Easy Steps

Two of my grandchildren have hit potty training age, so I’m reposting this very old post from my blogging past. This is the method I used for toilet training the last three of my children. The firstborn? She’s the kid I fussed over, bungling things in a big way, and from whom I learned the potty training lessons that I applied successfully to the other three.

1. Wait until the child is two and a half. Or two and a halfish. If you live where there are four seasons, wait until the spring/summer/nice weather nearest the two and a half milestone.


2. Make a trip to the store to buy several pairs of toddler underwear bearing the likenesses of things beloved to the trainee. Don’t substitute Pull-Ups. Pull-Ups, no matter how many gimmicks are added, work against successful toilet training.


3. Don’t allow the precious panties to be worn yet. (Admiration, however, is encouraged.) Tell your trainee that these special unmentionables will be saved for the hallmark day they begin using the toilet (or a tree) like mommy and daddy do.


4. Put the potty chair away. Go straight to more grown up receptacles like flush toilets. Unless, of course, you have a compelling reason to disregard this rule, like, “Potty chairs are so cute,” or “I really prefer dumping to flushing.”


5. Wake up one day and say to yourself, “This is the day.” It’s best if this is a day with fine weather for staying outdoors, but you can also opt for a day when you feel like cleaning up puddles indoors.


6. Dress the trainee in the cherished underwear and a t-shirt. Any more clothing is counterproductive. 


7. Go outdoors to play and wait for the first accident. Sympathize with the child over the wet underwear. Help your little one change to a new pair of similarly loved undies and have them put the old, wet ones in the hamper. Mention in passing that if they feel like they need to pee, they can tell you and you will help them go in the toilet so the beautiful undies don’t get wet. Resist the urge to say much more than this, and never, ever, ask, “Do you need to go yet?”


8. Repeat step 7 as many times as necessary, for as many days as necessary. You will probably be surprised how few times step 7 needs to be repeated.


9. If your child is male and you have a private yard, feel free to encourage the use of a tree or fence post instead of the toilet. This will make things easier for you and more fun for him. You can always civilize him later, if necessary. If you go this route, you may want to mention to the little guy that the parking meters on Main St. are not the same thing as fence posts. And while we’re on the subject of prudent warnings, also remind your potty trainee that the demo toilets in Home Depot are not for emergency use. With my own eyes I’ve seen the results of both these misunderstandings, and while they were certainly amusing, most of us would prefer to get this sort of shopping entertainment from other people’s children rather than our own.


10. There isn’t really a step ten, but there is a money-back guarantee of success. If you follow these steps religiously and your child still goes to kindergarten in diapers, please write for a refund.