Quick and Painless Potty Training in Ten Easy Steps

Two of my grandchildren have hit potty training age, so I’m reposting this very old post from my blogging past. This is the method I used for toilet training the last three of my children. The firstborn? She’s the kid I fussed over, bungling things in a big way, and from whom I learned the potty training lessons that I applied successfully to the other three.

1. Wait until the child is two and a half. Or two and a halfish. If you live where there are four seasons, wait until the spring/summer/nice weather nearest the two and a half milestone.


2. Make a trip to the store to buy several pairs of toddler underwear bearing the likenesses of things beloved to the trainee. Don’t substitute Pull-Ups. Pull-Ups, no matter how many gimmicks are added, work against successful toilet training.


3. Don’t allow the precious panties to be worn yet. (Admiration, however, is encouraged.) Tell your trainee that these special unmentionables will be saved for the hallmark day they begin using the toilet (or a tree) like mommy and daddy do.


4. Put the potty chair away. Go straight to more grown up receptacles like flush toilets. Unless, of course, you have a compelling reason to disregard this rule, like, “Potty chairs are so cute,” or “I really prefer dumping to flushing.”


5. Wake up one day and say to yourself, “This is the day.” It’s best if this is a day with fine weather for staying outdoors, but you can also opt for a day when you feel like cleaning up puddles indoors.


6. Dress the trainee in the cherished underwear and a t-shirt. Any more clothing is counterproductive. 


7. Go outdoors to play and wait for the first accident. Sympathize with the child over the wet underwear. Help your little one change to a new pair of similarly loved undies and have them put the old, wet ones in the hamper. Mention in passing that if they feel like they need to pee, they can tell you and you will help them go in the toilet so the beautiful undies don’t get wet. Resist the urge to say much more than this, and never, ever, ask, “Do you need to go yet?”


8. Repeat step 7 as many times as necessary, for as many days as necessary. You will probably be surprised how few times step 7 needs to be repeated.


9. If your child is male and you have a private yard, feel free to encourage the use of a tree or fence post instead of the toilet. This will make things easier for you and more fun for him. You can always civilize him later, if necessary. If you go this route, you may want to mention to the little guy that the parking meters on Main St. are not the same thing as fence posts. And while we’re on the subject of prudent warnings, also remind your potty trainee that the demo toilets in Home Depot are not for emergency use. With my own eyes I’ve seen the results of both these misunderstandings, and while they were certainly amusing, most of us would prefer to get this sort of shopping entertainment from other people’s children rather than our own.


10. There isn’t really a step ten, but there is a money-back guarantee of success. If you follow these steps religiously and your child still goes to kindergarten in diapers, please write for a refund.

She's Making a List: Reading Ephesians 1 As a Trinitatian

Ephesians 1:3-14 (ESV):

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, 8 which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight 9 making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ 10 as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

11 In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, 12 so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. 13 In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, 14 who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

Last week I made a list of what the last half of  Romans 8 tells us about the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Here’s a list drawn from this passage in Ephesians:

The Father

• blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing (v 3).
• chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world (v 4).
• predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ (v 5); predestined us according to his purpose (v 11).
• blessed us with his grace in the Beloved (Christ) (v 6); lavished his grace upon us (v 8).
• made known the mystery of his will to us (v 9).
• planned to unite all things in Christ (v 10).
• work all things according to the counsel of his will. (v 11).

The Son

• we receive every spiritual blessing in him (v 3).
• we are chosen in him (v 4).
• we are adopted as sons through him (v 5).
• we are blessed with God’s grace in him (v 6).
• we have redemption, forgiveness of trespasses through his blood (v 7).
• all things are united in him (v 10).
• we obtained an inheritance in him (v 11).
• we hope and believe in him (v 13).

The Holy Spirit

• seals us (v 13).
• guarantees our inheritance (v 14).

This is yet another passage in which the Trinity is implicit. Each person of the Trinity has a role in our salvation: Out of his grace, the Father plans to save and bring his plan to pass; the Son is the “in” and “through” of salvation, providing the grounds for it; the Holy Spirit applies salvation to us.

She's Making a List: Reading Romans 8 As a Trinitarian

When I read passages the New Testament, I like to keep track of what is said about the three persons of the Trinity, particularly noting what the passage teaches about the roles each has in salvation (thinking, of course, of salvation as the whole shebang from God’s foreknowing right through to glorification and the consummation of all things.)

Here is Romans 8:26ff:

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And here’s a quick list of what this passage tells us about the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

The Father (or “God” as Paul often refers to the Father)

• searches hearts (27)
• wills, purposes (27, 28)
• works things together for good (28)
• calls (29, 30)
• foreknows (29)
• predestines (29, 30)
• justifies (30, 33)
• glorifies (30)
• is for us (31)
• gave up the Son (32)
• gives us all things with Christ (32)
• loves us (39)

The Son

• is the image we are conformed to (29)
• is the firstborn of many brothers (29)
• was not spared, but was given up (32)
• died (34)
• was raised (34)
• is at the right hand of the Father (34)
• intercedes for us (34)
• loves us (35)

The Spirit

• helps us in our weakness (26)
• intercedes for us according to the will of God (27)

Doing lists like this helps me see that there’s really nothing that could make sense of the way scripture speaks of the work of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit except that the one God exists as as Trinity. Yes, this is a doctrine that is difficult to understand and yes, our language is inadequate to explain it, but a careful reader of scripture cannot deny that the Trinity is there, implicit in so much of what the apostles teach us about the work of God in history and in our lives. That God is Trinity is underlying it all: God eternally exists as three persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit; each person is fully God; there is one God.

As J. I Packer says, “All non-Trinitarian formulations of the Christian message are by biblical standards inadequate and indeed fundamentally false…”